#joy

In a few months, I believe my definition for this word will be changing. Adam will be a new joy in my life, and he is a shadow made by the object of my joy: Ellen. (Side note: There is something about her in this whole pregnancy journey that makes me giddy.)

Joy is a peculiar thing. In my opinion, it is a lot like humility. If you have to tell someone you are humble, it defeats its own meaning. People who experience joy do not have to actually talk about it. Joy just is.

Adam,

I want you to experience joy. And don't over complicate it; joy should be simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. I honestly do not know how to tell you to get to a place of joy in your life. I do know this one thing: it is worth the hunt. The Bible mentions joy in a little passage that talks about the culmination of the character of one that knows God. Joy is a gift from God. We all experience joy differently as if joy is the signature of God in our lives. If you can understand that, then you will always be thrilled by the joyful moments in your life. Adam, this is my take on joy… (This is a borrowed comparison.) Joy is like finding a treasure in a field. Once realizing the value of this treasure you bury it. Go sell everything you have, and buy the field so that then the treasure is also yours. Essentially, wherever it is that you experience joy--camp there--because that is where God is.

Here are some things that give me joy:

1. You.  Although you are not here yet, I think about you all the time. I think about what you are going to be. The words you will use. The friends you will have. The hobbies you’ll be great at. The brain you will have. Your creativity. Your expanse of love. The curiosity of your learning. When I think of you it feels like a smile starts curling at the corners of my mouth but then continues until I am wrapped in the warmth of a hug as delicate as the wind and as strong as the thunder. I am pretty sure that is joy. (So just imagine my joy when you are actually here hanging out with me!!)

2. When Ellen says she is proud of me. My goal in life now is to provide for you and your mother. I want you both to be fulfilled spiritually, emotionally, financially, experientially, and lots of other words that end in ly. And when she says she is proud of me--what she is saying creeps right into my soul. It translates to "I am safe." And when you are safe you are free to be yourself, express yourself, and grow.

3. When I am creating (whether that be writing, building, painting, or drawing). These moments give me joy because I feel like I am truly using the gifts that God has given me. I am creative not in and of myself, but because of the Creator. So the expression of my hands and words are like a translation of God's being. (Albeit a good-try-translation. Like when you draw a portrait of your parents when you are three--big circle, no neck, arms all wrong, head like a kite.)

4. Helping someone--especially someone that has the inability to truly help himself. When John the Baptist was in his mother’s womb, he leaped when Mary walked in carrying the child of God. When I help someone that is in need that is what it feels like. It feels good in the gut. Probably the Spirit leaping within us, because we are most like Jesus in those moments. 

My point in all of this is that I believe that joy is similar to faith and love. Difficult to explain, and when you have it--you know it. So how do I know that I am experiencing joy? My soul feels as if it has taken a breath. Like tasting oxygen for the first time. I really want you to live in joy.

Love,

Arguably the Most ADHD Dad in the World