#joy

In a few months, I believe my definition for this word will be changing. Adam will be a new joy in my life, and he is a shadow made by the object of my joy: Ellen. (Side note: There is something about her in this whole pregnancy journey that makes me giddy.)

Joy is a peculiar thing. In my opinion, it is a lot like humility. If you have to tell someone you are humble, it defeats its own meaning. People who experience joy do not have to actually talk about it. Joy just is.

Adam,

I want you to experience joy. And don't over complicate it; joy should be simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. I honestly do not know how to tell you to get to a place of joy in your life. I do know this one thing: it is worth the hunt. The Bible mentions joy in a little passage that talks about the culmination of the character of one that knows God. Joy is a gift from God. We all experience joy differently as if joy is the signature of God in our lives. If you can understand that, then you will always be thrilled by the joyful moments in your life. Adam, this is my take on joy… (This is a borrowed comparison.) Joy is like finding a treasure in a field. Once realizing the value of this treasure you bury it. Go sell everything you have, and buy the field so that then the treasure is also yours. Essentially, wherever it is that you experience joy--camp there--because that is where God is.

Here are some things that give me joy:

1. You.  Although you are not here yet, I think about you all the time. I think about what you are going to be. The words you will use. The friends you will have. The hobbies you’ll be great at. The brain you will have. Your creativity. Your expanse of love. The curiosity of your learning. When I think of you it feels like a smile starts curling at the corners of my mouth but then continues until I am wrapped in the warmth of a hug as delicate as the wind and as strong as the thunder. I am pretty sure that is joy. (So just imagine my joy when you are actually here hanging out with me!!)

2. When Ellen says she is proud of me. My goal in life now is to provide for you and your mother. I want you both to be fulfilled spiritually, emotionally, financially, experientially, and lots of other words that end in ly. And when she says she is proud of me--what she is saying creeps right into my soul. It translates to "I am safe." And when you are safe you are free to be yourself, express yourself, and grow.

3. When I am creating (whether that be writing, building, painting, or drawing). These moments give me joy because I feel like I am truly using the gifts that God has given me. I am creative not in and of myself, but because of the Creator. So the expression of my hands and words are like a translation of God's being. (Albeit a good-try-translation. Like when you draw a portrait of your parents when you are three--big circle, no neck, arms all wrong, head like a kite.)

4. Helping someone--especially someone that has the inability to truly help himself. When John the Baptist was in his mother’s womb, he leaped when Mary walked in carrying the child of God. When I help someone that is in need that is what it feels like. It feels good in the gut. Probably the Spirit leaping within us, because we are most like Jesus in those moments. 

My point in all of this is that I believe that joy is similar to faith and love. Difficult to explain, and when you have it--you know it. So how do I know that I am experiencing joy? My soul feels as if it has taken a breath. Like tasting oxygen for the first time. I really want you to live in joy.

Love,

Arguably the Most ADHD Dad in the World

#story

Story is important to me. I want to know that my life told a story--not just an existence. We get caught up in existence so much that we often forget that we are a key character in a story much bigger than our names and two dates on a tombstone. (That is not meant as a morbid thought, but I do hope you stopped to consider your own story.) I think of my own story all the time. I think about how boring it would be to recount days that followed monotonous patterns. No one is interested in why I chose the particular underwear I wore that day, the appointments I went on, the walk I took with my dog, the dinner I cooked, the dishes I didn't do, the time I went to bed... No one—well, maybe a stalker. (And they would tell the story much better than it was.) And then I think about how awesome it is to recount the stories where I take up the sword in my role as the hero (or court jester, or antagonist, or...) Those are the moments I want to capture and squeeze every bit of life out of. I want to make lemonade, or limoncello, or lemon spritzer, or lemon cocktails, or lemon other-delicious-things-made-with-lemon. I want life to be a story.

And I am consumed by the idea of Adam Armour Olive's story. Who will he be? What will he love? What makes him happy or sad? What adventures will he embark upon? Who are his friends? Who will he marry? Who are his children? What role will I play in his story?

I know my role will shift throughout his life. I just want to be a main character. And get ready for your mind to be blown: I will be if I choose the role. In the stories we are involved with, we are not in a casting role. We do not have to wait to be picked. We can pick ourselves. (BOOM.) How many of you reading this are waiting to be invited into a story? And the follow up question: Why? Why succumb to the tyranny of being picked? Pick yourself. You need to know you can live a better story. 

These are the stories / plots I want to play out with Adam:

Adventure-- Two men on a journey. Each armed with nothing but the dependence on the other. Watch as they take on the tallest peaks, the deepest waters, and the most ferocious beasts of wild. Randy teaches Adam what it means to be a man, and Adams shows Randy that life is better together. Their friendship deepens as they realize that letting go pulls them together. 

Comedy-- Adam and Randy were two regular guys until one day everything went right. Laugh along to this wacky adventure of figuring out life. Laugh with Adam as we watch Randy do everything wrong. And giggle uncontrollably as Adam mimics Randy's every move. "The best part is when Adam and Randy dance party (<-- verb) every night before bedtime and every morning when they wake up" says sleepy morning Ellen (she’ll join them for the evening dance). "You need a lifelong roll of corny jokes? Then pay attention to this story," raves everyone-who-knows-Randy. 

Documentary-- Follow Adam and Randy as they put their heads together to make a dent in homelessness. Homelessness has always tugged at Randy's heart, and Adam gave him a new outlook on why it was so important that he continues the fight. We are all only one paycheck away from being homeless and everyone deserves a chance. 

I want dramas to play out in a climactic scene where Adam achieves the success that everyone said was impossible. I want him to chase his dreams--whatever they might be. I want to see him invest his life into people. I want to see him fail and then be amazed at his growth. I want adventures to be a daily occurrence. I want him to look at me with a twinkle in his eye that says, "Let’s do something crazy," as we head out on a road trip.

And all of this will happen because I choose to live a better story. If you know me, then you know that no one gets to stand by and watch when I am in story mode--you have to get in on the action. I will be an example of a good story for Adam. He will be the greatest story I get to tell.

Dear Adam,

Allow me to get cliché: You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth. Let's write the best story ever told. I will play my lead role until you are ready to take over. I trust you will play it much better when it is yours.

Love,

Arguably the Most Sentimental Father Ever