#embarassed

So here is the deal. We all have embarrassing stories. They just might be at different degrees of WHOA.

With that being said, let me introduce you to 4th grade Randy. A real doofus of a kid. I was a super shy kid with middle child syndrome leaking all over everyone. I was very respectful to authority--as I didn't like being in trouble; I was too sensitive for all that. I would cry. Seriously though, why couldn't I be like that stone-face kid that got in trouble and just took it? I would get in trouble and blubber like a heartbroken, teenage girl.

Now that the picture is painted, let’s jump into this story:

Music class traveled on a little push cart from room to room. I don't remember our exact schedule, but it was something like every Tuesday and Thursday right before lunch. Our regular teacher, Mrs. Robinson (who by the way could solve a Rubix Cube in like two seconds), left the room to do her thing. Whatever that was for a fourth grade teacher. (All I can picture right now is that scene from Billy Maddison where the teacher rubs glue paste on her face while the kids are at recess.) Our music teacher would roll in and we played with musical instruments: essentially wooden blocks with sticks and bells and a random drum. My point in this is that my regular teacher who knew me well was out of the room. The other woman who literally went to every single room and taught every single kid in the building had momentarily taken my teacher’s place. She knew me not. I raised my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom. She said no. Oh, did I forget to mention that I was notorious for waiting until the last minute to ask about going to the bathroom? If she would have said yes to that question it would have been cutting it close for me to get to a bathroom. A “no” was like a proverbial axe to my reputation. The inevitable happened. I peed. And peed. And peed. I could feel the puddle in my chair. I pulled my chair under my desk until I might disappear under it. Every bit of dignity I might have had was puddled under me. (To top it off I was probably wearing denim shorts overalls.) Music teacher ?!%@# left (pardon my language, but she cut me deep), and Mrs. Robison cheerful waddled into the classroom. Immediately my hand shot up. "Can I go to the restroom?" (Although technically I had already answered that question on my own.) She granted me permission, and I took my raft to the hallway bathroom to see what could be done. Nothing.

I escorted myself to the principal's office to call my mother. What I wanted: a reset button. Let's go home, pretend everyone forgot, and start over in the morning. What I got: a mom who brought me a change of clothes and an apology because she had to go back to work.

So I changed. Handed my wet clothes to my mom. Cried. And walked back to the classroom. Oh the joy.

I look back and laugh now. I actually tell this story as an ice breaker often when I am at speaking engagements. It's a reality check that, from the beginning, I was never and will never be perfect. It is a story of being human. And I definitely don't think too highly of myself. I'm thankful for all the embarrassing moments in my life: maybe not right away, but eventually. They teach me a little something every time. Sometimes real deep truths, and other times just simply: don't wait until the last possible minute to ask to go to the bathroom. 

Dear Adam, 

I am going to embarrass you. A lot of those times will be on purpose. That's kind of my right as a dad. :) And other time you are going to be the fit of your own folly. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don't worry too much about the opinion of the masses. Stick to your friends that love you and watch out for you. Now, they are going to laugh at you too, but they will also love you in spite of you. And that is a very cool lesson to learn.

Love,

Literally the Most Embarrassing Dad Ever ;)